Hydroponic Tomato

Le printemps est plus avancé à Montréal, et nous avons donné suite à une invitation de Karine et Benjamin pour un fin de semaine relax. Vendredi midi, en route, retrouvaille interessante de mon passé chez Credit Suisse pour midi: Alan Vesprini, qui était le COO du projet PFS, est maintenant à Montréal. Puis un passage rapide chez Adam et Rachel pour les dernières nouvelles de famille. Puis une soirée avec Karine et Benjamin au restaurant vietnamien dans leur quartier. Debut d’un fin de semaine paisible.

Samedi, IKEA! Nous sommes en phase de magasinage pour la chambre à bébé. Pas beaucoup au sujét chez IKEA, mais c’est beau quand-même, et combiens de monde! Personne ne croirait qu’un ralentissement économique, voir une récession, est à l’horizon. Puis, une promenade sur l’île Sainte-Helène et un Curry maison, à la bougie, pour l’heure de la terre.

Dimanche l’intention était d’aller voir les papillons à l’insectarium, mais avec plus de deux heures d’attente pour entrer… mieux profiter du parc du jardins botanique, encore sous la couverture de la neige. La vie réprends… et Elliott n’était pas trop content de rester seul à la maison. Au retour, un arrêt au Saint-Hubert der Charlemagne - ou il y a presque cinq ans nous nous sommes arrêtées pour un dîner avec Tav qui venait juste pour le fin de semaine, et pour être le temoin de Yuval au marriage civil à Québec.

The little pulsating pixel has grown to more than 7 cm (head to bum) in a few weeks. Click on the picture to see it full scale. And it gave us a whole dance show during the prenatest ultrasound scan. We’re all excited. Nicole’s blood samples are out to the lab, results are expected at our next visit with the doctor.

There is more to write, but I’m tired now. It’s 3AM. We came home very late and all I wanted to do was just to scan this beautiful picture and share it!

Le pétit  pixel pulsant que nous avions vu lors de la dernière echographie a poussé et fait maintenant plus de 7 cm (de la tête aux fesses). Clique sur l’image pour le voir en plein écran. Et il nous a fait tout un show de dance pendant l’échographie du prenatest. Nous sommes très excités. Les échantillons de sang de Nicole sont parti pour l’analyse de laboratoire, les résultats sont attendu lors de notre prochaine visite chez le médécin.

Il y a plus à écrire, mais je suis fatigue maintenant. Il est 3 heures le matin. Nous sommes rentrées tard et je voulait juste scanner rapidement cette belle image et la partager!

More snow! For the record (and for those friends in warmer countries) those are doors, not windows

Encore plus de neige! Pour nos amis qui ne connaissent pas les hivers du Québéc, c’est de portes, pas des fenêtres

It takes 38 weeks for an embryo from fecundation to complete development until a baby is born. Toward the end of the second week, the pregnancy hormone can first be detected by a urine test commonly found in pharmacies.

We’re back on track!

Cela prends 38 semaines à un embryon pour se développer de la fécondation à la naissance d’un bébé. Vers la fin del a deuxième semaine, l’hormone de grossesse est détectée par un test d’urine qui se trouve en pharmacie.

Nous sommes reparti!

This last week has been extremely stressful. Miscarriage at the tenth week. 20% of pregnancies end this way. We are just a statistic. This is one of those moments when character becomes more relevant than statistics. We look at it as having been handed the “Return to go” card. I am very proud of Nicole. On top of the emotional issues that affect both of us she had to deal with medical complications. She showed courage and determination.

We are resilient. A lot of sadness of course, but we had taken good care all along to be realistic about this being an embryo. We lost an embryo, not a baby. The inevitable has slightly changed our plan, not our objective. We are back to square zero and will be back at it with renewed energy once Nicole will have recovered physically.

We take some positives out of this tragic experience.

We had exceptional support from people around us. Our gratitude goes particularly to Danny and Guylaine in Trois-Rivières, to Simon in Québec-City, to Dr. Line Blackburn and the medical staff in Québec-City and to Nicole’s parents.

We learned a lot about the local health system, we understood the deficiencies of our nearly inexistent emergency plan and we are more determined than ever to make a baby, which means that our further plans will likely be postponed by a few months because the circumstances are such that we’d rather do it in a health system that we know.

Writing is therapeutic too. I’ve been writing a lot these days and will likely do a lot of it in the near future.

La dernière semaine a été terrible. Fausse couche à la dixième semaine. 20% des grossesses se terminent ainsi. Nous ne sommes rien qu’une statistique. Ceci est un de ces moments ou le caractère est plus important des statistiques. Nous prenons cet évènement comme ayant reçu la carte de “retour à la case de départ”. Je suis très fier de Nicole. En plus du coup émotionnel elle a du aussi faire face à des complications medicales. Elle y est passé avec courage et determination.

Nous sommes resilient. Beaucoup de tristesse, c’est naturel, mais nous avons fait attention, tout le long, d’être réalistes. C’était un embryon. Nous avons perdu un embryon, pas un bébé. L’inévitable a modifié nos plan, mais il n’a pas changé notre objectif. Nous sommes de retour à la case de départ et nous attendons la récupération physique de Nicole avant de reprendre nos efforts.

Nous avons tiré des positifs de cette expérience tragique.

Nous avons eu un soutien exceptionnel par les gens autour de nous. Notre gratitude va particulièrement à Danny et Guylaine à Trois-Rivières, à Simon à Québec, à la Dr. Line Blackburn et au personnel médical à Québec et au parents de Nicole.

Nous en avons appris beaucoup sur le système de santé local, nous avons compris les déficiences de notre plan d’urgence inexistant et nous sommes plus determiné que jamais de faire un enfant, ce qui veut dire que les autres plans seront probablement retardé de quelques mois, car nous voulons le mettre au monde dans un système de santé connu.

Écrire c’est therapeutic aussi. J’ai écrit beaucoup ce jours, majoritairement en anglais, car c’est la langue commune de tous nos amis aux quatre coins de la planète.

Finally home! Nicole’s operation went well, and I could fetch her at 03:00. Unlike planned, I could not get any sleep, so we first stopped for a sleep at her parents before continuing for Trois-Rivières.

Driving back was liberating. For the first time in a week, that highway I had seen so often looked completely different. No pressure. I set my cruise-control to the exact speed limit. Almost all cars would speed me by. Despite the authorities’ declaration of the year of road safety, over 80% of highway drivers are still driving faster than the speed limit.

We had finally time to talk things through. Discuss our priorities. Make plans for the future again. Once at home, it was time to take care of Nicole properly.

I went grocery shopping to prepare her a good dinner. To pamper her after the curettage I stopped at Lush on my way home. It was my first time ever in the shop, and the sales lady was trying to be nice. Of course she could not know what we’ve just been through.

Her first suggestion was a full kit that starts with a bath… stop! Can’t take a bath after surgical intervention. “I was thinking more of something for a massage”, I told her.

The next suggestion was at the display of parfumed massage bars. They have edible ones, very sexy… stop again! “I’ll have to share with you the situation we’re in: we just had a miscarriage, I want to pamper her, not to sex her”.

Now the sales woman knew what we needed, and I got a couple of excellent, relaxing massage bars. But she kept trying to sell me shaving foam, for both my beard and my scalp which have both grown to same length since the beginning of the week.

It was a quick drive to the CHUL. We arrived around 20:00 and Nicole checked in. We went up to the ward. The personnel was very competent and professional. They apologized for the chaos although we felt we were serviced very well and noticed very little chaos.

Service was given by females and male nurses. The rooms were mixed. It did not bother Nicole so I did not investigate further, but I can imagine that this can hurt some sensitivities. My guess is that the hospital was at or beyond operating capacity so they had to accommodate Nicole in whatever bed they found. I can’t believe that a hospital that size does not have an area dedicated to women undergoing this sort of procedure. There were at least six of them scheduled before Nicole when we arrived.

What did bother me was the TV rental in-room: 11$ for the first day and 8$ each additional day, for a tiny 12″ or so! Whoever has to go to hospital is better off passing at Wal*Mart and buying quickly a portable DVD player.

The nurse gave us a whole overview of the procedure and timings. The surgery itself lasts only a few minutes and after that they would keep Nicole for about three hours under observation. Nicole wanted me to be with her throughout the procedure but hospital policy was against it. And visitor hours close at 21:00. The nurse was very forthcoming. She offered to make an exception for me to stay after visitor hours because the exact time for the procedure was not yet scheduled and most likely Nicole could quit the hospital around midnight if there were no complications.

I did not want to cause trouble. Nicole and I agreed that I’d go home to rest and come later to pick her up A.S.A.P. But I could not even think of sleeping. I was too nervous. Lucky me I could go to my friends Simon and Catherine who are living nearby. At 21:00 Nicole called that she was going in. 3-4 long hours to wait. Simon kept me company over a small scotch and introduced me to some subtleties of classical music that I was never aware of.

I expected Nicole to call, as agreed, as soon as she is next to a phone after the procedure. That was meant to be around 60 to 90 minutes later. When at 23:30 there was still no news, I took initiative and called the hospital. I could not speak with her but I was told she was OK and I could pick her up at 2:00. Relief!

Simon had to work next day and I did not want to be too much of a burden. I left around 1:00. This was a quiet moment. Humidity had fallen and it was a kind of ghostly/foggy atmosphere. It was the second time in 24 hours I regretted leaving the camera behind in Trois-Rivières. The first time was earlier in the day, when driving with Nicole on Rue des Braves after buying her pain killers. There was a park with a church there that still had beautiful autumn colors. Next year.

I drove slowly from Simon’s place to the hospital stretching it and with the car’s ventilation at the maximum to get rid of condensation. I was slightly hungry and Simon recommended a Lebanese restaurant that is open 24 hours in Place de la Cité. I discovered there was a whole night life patch there, but did not really feel social, so I made another round of the block, parked, and walked slowly into the hospital.

It was so good to see Nicole doing better. We spent about half hour at her hospital bed, waiting for the last formalities and the official release. Then I drove her to her parents home where we could finally sleep. It was over.